the imbecile domicile

Pop vs. Soda - The Battle for your Diabetes

2008-09-10T14:36:00.002-05:00

Question: What is the source of our regional identity? Chicken or the Egg?

Just for fun, here's the 2004 presidential election by county.

Women's Olympic Fencing - The Big Picture - Boston.com

2008-08-15T10:25:00.001-05:00

Where is your hope now, Obama!?

2008-08-12T12:27:00.002-05:00

If you don't watch this video the terrorists have won.

Real (and awesome) Professional Baseball team names

2008-08-11T14:36:00.003-05:00

All from the 19th Century American Association (precursor to the National League).

Boston Beaneaters
Brooklyn Grooms
Brooklyn Bridegrooms
Boston Doves
Brooklyn Superbas
New York Highlanders
Cleveland Naps
Brooklyn Tip-Tops

George Orwell has a blog!

2008-08-11T11:38:00.002-05:00

Well, to be clear: his diaries are being published in real time - blog style. It's comforting to know that blogs in 1938 were every bit as masturbatory are as ones 70 years later. I can't wait until the delicate and timeless symbiosis between George's self-loathing and inflated sense of purpose propel him to 'challenge' social/personal mores while pimping his Fringe show.

The Dance of Dances

2008-07-03T11:23:00.001-05:00

Until the day I die - I will live for Carlton Dance.

I kinda feel like this today

2008-07-01T14:50:00.001-05:00

U know... just chillin.

Does anybody have a breath mint?

2008-06-30T10:15:00.003-05:00

Congratulations! A single additional Monday has been allotted to your life - what will you choose to do with it? Currently, I am quietly recouping lost energy at a desk covered in familiar. In the distance I can start to see the day when the mundane of The Job will overtake the comfort of it, but as of today, The Job still suits me pleasantly.

This weekend:
• Took Chuckles to see Iron Man, again. Adequately entertained, again. This was followed by a 3 hours conversation about nothing and everything with Chuckles and my roommates – I love my home.
• Shot some ‘Drinking with Ian’ stuff for Brian. Met some very funny people. Memorable quote:
A: “I’m exhausted from all this simulated humping.”
B: “Yeah, you might want to think about simulating getting tested.”
• Indian wedding! Congrats to Paul and Avni. Avni was one of the prettiest brides I’ve ever seen – Formal Sari FTW! Alisha, as a bridesmaid, looked lovely as well. It made me wonder: are there some brides that intentionally dress their bridesmaids in the ugliest dresses possible in order to ensure that they are the prettiest girls at the party? If so – awesome. I think this should transfer regular (read: non-life ending) parties. If you throw a party, you should be able to mandate that your gender/sexual equal must dress in the least attractive attire possible – perhaps a garbage bag, a urine-soaked poncho, or something Old Navy. Anywho, the after an hour long conversation about religion with strangers at dinner, there was dancing and frivolity. Good stuff.
• Sunday = Chipotle lunch with Marie, several healthy hours of bike riding, handiwork installing new lighting in the kitchen, and evening of writing. Way to go Sunday.

Bravery

2008-06-26T12:14:00.003-05:00

I am blessed. By just about every metric, I live a charmed life. The occasional turn of fate that doesn't go my way is far overshadowed by the towering good that I am privy to.

But... in the world around me - shit happens. There is the shit that happens to people and places far away - removed from my ethnocentric circle of influence. This shit gets called earthquakes, tsunamis, hurricanes and genocide. All of it devastating yet frighteningly easy to distract myself from. With these happenings, as with the rare troubles I face, it takes little effort to give control/credit over to the powers that be, often a higher power or the unseen hand. Calmly, detached - 'shit happens.'

Then there is the shit that hits the ground walked on by people I know. Watching the people I love battling inconceivable pain, I always end up filled with rage; rage at God, rage at fate, rage at the world that incubates ignorance and evil. Anger is not a trait I experience often enough to know what to do with or not be terrified by it's consummation.

Why does my brain allow the pain of one to completely swallow the pain of thousands? I know it's typical, but it feels wrong. This is a part human nature I will always be frustrated by.

Still, hope subsists. From the mouth and heart of someone far braver that I - said while living through the worst moment of his life;

"Live with peace in your heart, and seek out those with peace in theirs."

The Omega Male Commeth

2008-06-24T12:19:00.001-05:00

In nature and faith, the exploits of the Alpha Male are well documented and rarely contested. The world has come to accept its collar-flippin', lady-bonin', Nickleback-rockin' progeny with the quiet dignity a mother has for her slow but charming son. The hyperbolic would say that the Alpha Male is so well accepted in the social zeitgeist that this sticky-haired feller now stands next to some of our most rigid mores, like no white after Labor Day – and – he/she that smelt it, ergo, dealt it.

This presents us with a hole to fill. (It’s important to note: that is indeed what “She” did say). As with all problems, Physics is here to help. Newton’s Third Law of Motion speaks to the direct inverse relationship between action/reaction. Kenneth Cole’s Reaction™ is youthful and fun-loving line of shoes and mid-range apparel. The truly lovely derivation of this bedrock of rationalism, and indeed all Physics, is that it always manages to illuminate and humiliate at the same time. Enumerated:
Gravity = Paramount
Falling on Your Face = Gravity’s Skanky Paramour.

I have just now decided to term this relationship the Double Inverse Polarity Paradigm of Humiliation - for that title clearly sounds badass. Look for it in next months JAMA! But I digress.

The very existence (action) of the Alpha Male requires the retroaction (reaction) of its antithesis. The positron to his electron, the Dave Coulier to his John Stamos. Thus, we must presume the latent coexistence of the Omega Man. In accordance with the laws of nature; The Omega Man must balance the force of the Alpha Man, which, heretofore, makes the Omega Man a little like Luke Skywalker - also badass.

Through means of simple extrapolation the Omega Man already begins assume form. From the ether we start to see the brute outline of the chthonian hero forgotten by time's more beautiful children. In the reflection of the Alpha's physical superiority we can see the Omega's relative dirth of dexterity, agility, stamina and strength. Truth be told: the Omega is only metaphorically familiar with these terms as a lexicon for the Dungeons and Dragon's Complete Rule Set (4th Edition). Where the Alpha might leisure in 'sport' - the Omega might take pleasure in reading McSweeny's and collecting ironic tee-shirts. Alpha is to likes big boobs - as Omega is to likes big boobs under ironic tee-shirts. Alpha: Dave Mathew's Band, Omega:: bands that don't suck. The beat goes on...

Which brings us to the crux; the Back to the Future 3 of this assertion. Just as the Alpha profits from his considerable (if counterfeit) confidence, and the resulting leadership grab - so too does the Omega benefit from his apparent (if artificial) apprehension in social situations. Chicken and the egg be damned - the Omega now lives in a world that is entirely not without reward for him. Insecurity is a tool often helpful to the Omega but has become MOST beneficial in 'The Game.' 'The Game' - also known as 'the F%$king Game' - has many rules and infinite players. Essentially, 'The Game' consists of finding, copulating-with and keeping lady-humans. In the past the Omega would have been far outclassed in 'The Game' by the Alpha, but something has changed - and it's only been recently. The Omega is becoming increasingly more apt in playing outside the rules, especially in contrast to the Alpha. This, coupled with a radical shift in women's desired traits in men, the final shape of the new Omega males becomes finally visible - the new Hero.

Next to talk about:
The Omicron Male
The Omega Female
The evolving role of procreation/breeding in 'the game'
Your penis; your frenemy?

This Technology Will Blow Your Mind..

2008-05-20T17:49:00.001-05:00

These genius' never cease to amaze me.. This technology will soon be at our fingertips..

read more | digg story

A Return to Innocence

2008-05-13T12:42:00.002-05:00

Tired.

· Yesterday: I met with the group that is working to start a big old national tournament in MN. The initial plans are really exciting, but there is so much to do and many complications that are going to make this a pain in the sassafras. I find myself wondering if I really have the gumption to take something like this on and try to lead the group. All Though… the certain huge multi-national corporation that seems frightening willing to bank-roll this throw-down makes the prospect a smidge more palatable.

· Saturday: Saw some dance – I like the dance. Every time I watch the dance I find myself wishing to have more interesting thoughts. It seems there is little grey area in the objectivity of dance. All of it either seems to fall on the far James Joyce/Constructionist side of things or on the far Ron Howard “who needs subtlety” angle. But as an audience member, I found myself wondering if the moment I figure out what the creator was going for is the moment the creation become pedestrian? I simply enjoy dance, and most art I ‘spose, when I my head isn’t big enough to contain it. Maybe I need to start appreciating little ideas more. Concept that fit in the palm of my hand. I also ran into 3 past “girlfriends” (your term, not mine). This unforeseen meeting of twains left me feeling rather skanky and regretting some actions. Btw, Ben and Laura are about as cute as a stupid couple can be. It’s really nice to watch two people being good to each other and not self-mutilating their souls in the process.

· Friday: Bike got stolen, suck it karma. Jenny took me to a bonfire and fooled me into liking people one more gullible time.

This week: Need to study up on the Grand Canyon. Leave in 13 days!

Nationals = Done

2007-06-27T00:03:00.000-05:00

Soo... Wichita happened. Animal Farm took second. It was a humdinger to watch them in the final round. Alex won the whole thing in Extemp, Kevin cried... sad little man.

The Fringe show is going well - certainly well outside of the norm for me.

Cheddar Triscuits = tingle-makers

Oh yeah, I also am shopping for a dog.

R.I.P. Mr. Wizard

2007-06-13T11:52:00.000-05:00

When I saw this today I got choked up in much the same way that I did when Fred Rogers died. These men weren't just television personalities to me - they were surrogate fathers. Mr. Wizard helped raise me and I owe much of my love for science experiments to him. I have immensely strong memories of sitting on the floor in my living room as Mr. Wizard taught me and the usual multi-ethnic nerd "assistant" the principals of resonance, polarization, inertia or PH. With the added perspective of age, I can see that much of the foundation of my understanding about science I learned from Mr. Herbert.

Once, when playing the question game, someone asked "If you could give a hug to any person right now, who would it be?" Guess who my answer was. I always thought Mr. Wizard looked a little sad that he had to always remain so scientific with the kids on his show... as if perhaps,if one of the kids were to just wrap their arms around him and say;
"I love you Mr. Wizard!"
A quite smile bravely stands guard in front of the man's loneliness.
"Thank you little man... but I can not love you back, for I am a wizard and, as such, we wizards are married to science."
"But, why can't you just..."
"Shhh... go forth young egghead; fall in love with the world and it's mysteries, for they are the most beautiful thing you will ever see."
As the man returns to his red balloon filled with hydrogen tied to a tennis ball, he turns away to hide his betraying eyes. The boy walks away, gets beaten up after Chess Club and goes to Space Camp.

Thank you Mr. Wizard - you made me love questions.

Cutegasm

2007-06-08T18:30:00.000-05:00

Good Lord, it's lovely out. Summers here humans, go forth and wear tank-tops.

My dog uterus aches from watching this. I'm totally serious when I say that if anyone needs a dog-sitter - I'm your soldier for love.

Swim Home

2007-05-09T11:52:00.000-05:00

Ok, so you think mimes are creepy and/or sad. Frankly, having never seen one I would have been apt to agree with you - but that would make me just as racist as you are Skippy.

Enter the Sunday. Jodi dragged me to see a quite feller named Mikael Rudolph. Whoa nelly - I heart mime! This was one of the more solidly entertaining bits of performing I've seen as of late. The show was framed around him pulling stuff from his suitcase - in other words - there wasn't really much structure. Nonetheless, it didn't really need much. Almost everyone one of his object based 'bits' connected on many levels while bing pretty damn impressive. His one attempted at being poignant, a dancing with a woman's dress to demonstrate his loneliness, did fall flat - but I commend him for scratching the profound.

So, I guess I'm a convert now. Damnit - next I'm prolly going to start liking movement based mesa-storytelling... sorry Sarah.

So

"Communicating as performance art"

2007-04-22T19:49:00.000-05:00

So one of the only articles I've ever seen in a major TC paper about Speech and it gets described as "performance art." Sigh. Anywho, it's a decent article.

The State tournament yesterday was one of those truly wonderful days that define the power of being on a team. Eagan broke the record for the number of medals won (20 - previous record was 17). Woot for us - that's gonna stick for a long time.

Jay and John took home the blue; rocking all sorts of awesomeness. Jay in particular delivered a creative that reminded me how powerful this silly activity can be.

Walker wrote his own speech, one of the requirements for the creative expression category. It was titled "Blacked into a Corner." His thesis, he said, is that African-Americans often limit the freedoms they've fought for by stereotyping themselves, and by forcing definitions upon each other about what it means to be black.

And, yes, he used the N-word, in what many said was a provocative performance. He took the part of a black man who was trying to be black enough and a fairy godfather who was trying to help him.

Good day... good day.

Auditions for Gooogle: The Musical (2.0)

2006-12-02T16:52:00.000-06:00

Winning the award for most unlikely show ever to be produced at the Guthrie - the 2006 Fringe hit Gooogle: The Musical is back for a full run the entire month of February – including 3 shows at the Guthrie. Rehearsals begin middle December and last through January.

Gooogle: The Musical asks the centuries old question: “would the world be better off without the internet?” Set in the slightly-more-than-not-to-distant future; the story follows the last Librarian in the world. When Google disappears all hell breaks loose, the unwashed masses addicted to the internet (a.k.a.: us) become zombies and people start singing… ooohh, scary. The show has been reworked from the ground up for this run.

9 ROLES BEING CAST!
4 Women, 5 Men: all ages, types – mostly looking for strong singers. Ethnic diversity strongly encouraged. A couple of the harder to fill roles include;

Jessica – 40+: Older woman, maternal figure, dark side. Strong singer wanted.

Rajit – Indian male – any age, tech support, strong comic timing.

Auditions Thursday 12/7 and Saturday 12/9. Prepare 1 comic monologue and 1 minute of any song that shows off your pipes. Please send a resume & headshot to drewhammond@imdo.org to schedule an audition time.

All positions paid.

There's a reason I love TV's Craig Ferguson

2006-11-12T16:08:00.000-06:00

New Favorite Song

2006-11-09T11:21:00.000-06:00

De La Sol collaborates to many smiles.

the treadmill just keep on rolling

2006-10-26T10:56:00.000-05:00

Our nation's love affair with crap on a treadmill continues unabated. What's cuter, a cat or shrimp?

I believe the original that sparked this pop-culture coup de ta is as follows.

Perhaps this new facination will have an effect on America's growing obesity problem? Prolly not.

farfignuggen!

2006-10-13T12:29:00.000-05:00

This man needs to make me his friend.

do i sound like a musical robot?

2006-09-29T11:19:00.000-05:00

"who are the ad genius' that came up with that one?'

2006-09-26T12:17:00.000-05:00

Why I love product packaging so much I may never know - but Susan do I! I suppose it has something to do with packaging representing a vein that is so intimately connected to the neo-cortex of pop-culture that it's almost unnerving how attractive some marketing can be. Or perhaps I just like pretty colors.

... put on a happy face.

2006-09-13T12:23:00.000-05:00

Looky looky. My persistently contentious relationship with fate is slowly but surely turning into a pleasantly less-craptastic liaison that what I have come to expect. In a period of great personal examination, it's nice to feel like I have a friend in fate. Life is neither good nor bad - like The King of Queens - it's just there waiting for someone to make something of it.

Google: The Musical officially is going be remounted. Where? The frickin' Guthrie. Yes, the brand new $126 million dollar Guthrie. That's a little like me getting to play running-back at the Metrodome. Or me getting to play cello at Lincoln Center. Or me getting to do high-definition porn. That is to say: it's going to be hard not to feel inadequate. Nomatter - we will grab the Guthrie by the reins and wrestle that philly to the mud.

One week and counting

2006-07-29T11:19:00.000-05:00

Isaiah Waid: Lady Killer.

Ummm... where'd July go? I am stunned that Google: The Musical opens in one week. Tech rehearsal (our one 3-hour stint in the Rarig Thrust before we open) is on Sunday, and I feel like we are pretty much ready. The process of rehearsing the show has been, like most shows, a roller-coaster. Nonetheless, we're there and ready to throw thing up in the air and see what lands.

The cast has been a joy to work with (with the exception of Mike - he's a jerk) and the music is better than I ever could have hoped. If you haven't already, check out the website Molly made @ www.imdo.org as well as our Fringe page. From that spiffy fringe page, you can create a free log-on and schedule shows to your heart's content - which helps us stay on the top ten list. Woot!

I'll write more after tech.

Press Image

2006-06-07T13:08:00.000-05:00

I like it.

Fringe Benefits

2006-05-31T10:39:00.000-05:00

For the forseable future, I intend to use this site to blog about the progress of my 2006 Twin-Cities Fringe Festival show Google: The Musical. Soooo... here we go!

Google: The Musical is an entirely original musical dark-comedy being introduced for this year’s Fringe Festival. This will be huge and challenging. We promise – it’s not JUST another silly fringe “musical.” The show is a fable about the dangers of information ubiquity. The music is entirely of the electronic persuasion – there will be a DJ on stage the whole time. Oh yeah, and zombies.

Auditions will be held Sunday June 11 and Monday June 12. Experience not a necessity – just show us that you are willing to take some risks. ETHNICITY STRONGLY ENCOURAGED! The following roles have specific requirements.

• Elder Woman (50+) – A kind mentor with a curious past. This woman must be capable of singing and willing to dance in a hip-hop style (will teach).

• 3 woman and 3 men (Any age/shape/) – Relatively strong dance and singing. Multiple-character roles.

• Video game prodigy – If this title makes your thumbs tingle, audition.

Also looking for a Stage Manager and Video Guru.

Please email shammond@mn.rr.com for more information, or call 612.991.5204. If available, please include a resume/headshot.

The music of my misspent youth

2006-05-17T15:40:00.000-05:00

The strata of my soul that this video touches is a murky depth visited only by The Greatest American Hero and my mom's grilled cheese sandwiches. Thank you nostalgia for further making me a target market.

Why didn't I think of that?

2006-04-17T00:53:00.000-05:00

We've all had ideas. Some of them good. Some of them crackpot. Not one among us has had an idea this good - ever.

Inventing something as brilliant as flatulence-controlling dog-lingerie would clearly require a one-time-only gift of otherworldly genius... right?

Wrong.

from the ashes

2006-02-26T19:07:00.000-06:00

Hey! How ya been? Man, it's been a long time. You look awesome - have you lost weight? Really? Cuz man, I remember you being way fatter.

My sincere apologies to the mighty God of Blogging (You know Him as Blod) for not writing in months. I could lie and say that I felt guilty, but that would just be an affront to our already tenuous relationship.

This year, for the first time in memory, winter has gotten to me. I've always loved winter, what with all the bundling up, hot-chocolating down, and of course... snotcicles. Winter is obviously the bad-ass of the seasons: I mean, could Spring be any more metro? But for some reason, this Winter I have found myself feeling the gloom that I have always heard so many others complain of. I look outside and just want to stay in bed. Friends invite me out and I choose to say in just to avoid the outside. Writing my name in the snow now only bring quiet giggles where it used to bring guffaws. This feeling, call it what you will, is very new to me and I've been trying to understand the 'why now?'

My best guess is that it has to due with the fact that I’ve been traveling. I like to believe that most depression (I use that term generally, not clinically) originates from access to alternatives. That is to say, the very act of seeing the grass on the other side of the fence makes your grass look all brown and landmined. Having traveled to both Florida and San Francisco in January and February (respectively) has spoiled me. In the past, I just accepted the fact that I lived somewhere cold enough to freeze Emily Mortimer (She's hot, get it?) because I had never been somewhere warm in the winter. This doesn't mean I’ll be moving to Pensacola anytime soon, but I've seen how, or more accurately, where the other half lives and might have to crash on their couch sometime.

Other than the winter bit, life is solid. Speech is going well this year and I am continuing to learn how to be a better teacher. The kids are lighting things on fire, which makes them happy, which makes me happy. Speaking of learning, I have a number of classes that I'm really loving this semester, with my Math For Teachers class leading the way. This is most likely interesting to you because we are learning addition and subtraction. Seriously. The class is all about going back and trying to put yourself in the shoes of someone who doesn't know math at all; someone to whom basic algebraic operations mean nothing. Sometime in the first couple weeks I realized just how really difficult it might be for a little kid to understand something like the decimal systems and how so much of what we had to learn was fundamentally counter-intuitive to the way we as little people processed the world. To be fair, even though we are learning things like addition, they are teaching us to do it in Sanskrit and Babylonian - so it's a little tougher. Stupid humans - you couldn't even invent a zero until only about 2500 years ago... and even then there were still a lot of you that though this newfangled "zero" was an omen of the devil. Tsk tsk.

Loose yourself in dance

2005-12-07T14:42:00.002-06:00

Stephanie Cordell... you've made my world just a little bit brighter. Beotch.

Click on the picture to find your happy.

(And yes, I know there's a typo in the movie... it's not like I'm an English major or something.)

Hypnotized

2005-12-05T18:07:00.000-06:00

I'm trying to figure out how to post video - so this is just kinda a test. This is when I got hypnotized at the state fair. I was given the power to put people to sleep, which I promtly used to clock a girl in the face. Good times.

All I want for Christmas

2005-11-13T23:35:00.000-06:00

Dear Santa;
Hey! What's up? Can you believe the Vikings won today? I sure can't.

Anywho... Say, if you're still looking for that perfect xmas gift that just screams Drew, please don't buy me another insane parrot that simply repeats my name at 38 decibels. Instead, book me a party with these little fellers...
If I could see MiniKissjust once before I shuffle off this mortal coil, well, you truly would have made my wish. Oh, and I'd also like some new underdrawers - preferably the Hanes tagless brand, size medium.

Thanks, and don't let the elves bust your balls about your dental plan - now is the time to by fiscally responsible.

Love,
Drew

Survey - or - 10 mins i'll never get back

2005-11-07T13:31:00.000-06:00

Three Names You Go By
1.Drew
2.Seth
3.Drewbacka

Three Parts of Your Heritage
1. Irish
2. German
3. Liliputan

Three Things That Scare You
1. Spiders
2. Worms laying eggs inside me
3. George Bush

Three of Your Everyday Essentials
1. Cell Phone
2. iPod
3. Internet

Three Things You Are Wearing Right Now
1. Yankees cap
2. Glasses
3. Nothing else

Three of Your Favorite Bands or Musical Artists
1. Counting Crows
2. Citizen Cope
3. Ozomatli

Three of Your Favorite Songs - at the moment
1. Ya Viene el Sol - Ozomatli
2. Calendar Girl - Stars
3. Feelin Good - Nina Simone

Three Things You Want in a Relationship (other than Real Love)
1. Inside Jokes
2. Comfort with Silence
3. Challenge

Two Truths and a Lie
1. I like cheeze
2. I like pototoes
3. I hate cheezy-potatoes

Three Physical Things about the Opposite Sex that Appeal to You
1. Hair
2. Back of neck
3. The walk

Three of Your Favorite Hobbies
1. Net surfing (aka "Time-Wasting of The Future!)
2. Writing
3. Remembering those we've lost this year ;)

Three Things You want to do really badly right now
1. Eat Spumoni
2. Visit Egypt
3. Learn to fly

Three Places You Want to go on Vacation
1. Turkey
2. New York
3. New Zealand (Where is old Zealand?)

Three Things You Want to Do Before You Die
1. Have some babies
2. Live somewhere that doesn't speak English
3. Finish my damn book

Three people I would like to see take this quiz
1. Osama
2. Natalie Portman
3. You

Watching the game...

2005-10-16T12:32:00.000-05:00

Dear Vikings,
Please stop sucking.
Thanks,
-Drew

God v. Man

2005-10-13T22:41:00.000-05:00

For those sports fans keeping score at home, let’s recap:
Tsunami, hurricane(s), earthquakes, the NFC North, avian flu, – God has certainly come out early and come out swingin’ this season!  Clearly, that controversial late trade for Terri Schiavo (FL) ended up being a smart move on God’s part – that little lady sure proved that she has a lot of spark left in her!  With only a couple months to go before the All-Star break, God has to be feeling pretty good about his chances against the likes of Mohammed and the juggernaut East-Coast offence – as long as God learns from past mistakes and keeps Amy Grant on the sidelines.

On the other end of the spectrum is the struggling Man, who’s only victory this season came early from a still floundering Mars who hasn’t been able to do much to stop any one from just roving all over it.  Man hasn’t started 1-5 since 1945 – when the season was prematurely cancelled because of WWII and a lack of nylons.  If hope can be found anywhere, it’s that Man is expecting the return of last years recovering MVP – Pat Robertson – who is one of the few playing the game who had any success at interfering with God’s playbook.

Can there be any doubt that we have royally pissed off God?  Dang, I knew I shouldn’t have returned those underwear after I wore them… for a week.  THEY WERE CHAFING!

Seriously, I fully expect to turn on the TV tomorrow and to see Finland besieged by a plague of locusts, or everyone in New Jersey to become leppers… oh wait…

Or perhaps it will just start raining frogs?  I like rain.  I like frogs.  I imagine that singing in the frog rain is just as fun, if not more so, than singing in the regular rain.  Plus, we’d finally be able to get rid of all this left over Honey Smacks.  How is this a bad thing again?

Movies

2005-10-11T20:28:00.000-05:00

I actually saw two movies last week. I KNOW! Call me Gene Shalit.

Serenity
So, if you haven't already, get in your auto, drive to that one movie theater (you know, the one that kinda smells like taint and tobacco) and buy a ticket to see Serenity. At that point, it's your choice whether to actually go in the theater and see it - but rest assured: your ticket purchase will be encouraging a sequel thereby doing the world a little favor.

To put it another way...

Corpse Bride
Not so much. I really wanted to like this movie. . . but twas not to be. The visuals of the thing are amazing - the character design is hands down the best of the stop-animation genre. Sadly, the character's personalities don't ever match their aesthetics. Not only that, but the plot is a boring mess of unanswered arcs and meandering tones. See it if you like the art style, but bring a book.

The Times They Are A-Changin'

2005-10-05T15:30:00.000-05:00

An update that actually has to do with my life!?! Stop this insanity.

There have been big changes here at DrewCorp LLC, and in times of great upheaval, it is often helpful to appraise such vicissitude in writing in the interest of providing clarity.

New roommates, three of them!
Josh, Jenner and Zoe(a Dog-ish type thing). All good people.
18 Credits
I'm not quite getting my ass kicked, but it's good to remember that I can function on 4 or less hours of sleep on a regular basis.
I'm single
Sucky and good at the same time. I used to absolutely love being alone - so it's be rather freaky to find myself struggling to re-learn that being alone is actually a good thing. I understand now how someone can come up with a story as cool as Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless mind. Yay for understanding.
Non-prom
The Awesome 80's Prom is on hiatus until early November, thus: free weekends. Holy crap, I have no friend! The social life provided by the Prom has been highly successful as masking the fact that my old circle of friends has more or less completely unraveled. With Bietz moving, the schism between certain other friends, and the constant marching progression of life taking friends in different directions, I'm left with little connections to an older version of my life.
TV shows are weird
So I'm doing this thing with HGTV. All I can say is filming a TV show is a lot like being an adored child - anything you do that is remotely entertaining has to be immediately recreated thus removing anything remotely entertaining about it.

There's more, but I'm now exhausted. Don't you like the new play-thangs on my blog over there to the right? I'm a nerd.

Van Morrison's Contractual Obligation Album

2005-10-04T16:25:00.000-05:00

In the grand tradition of Artist resolving contractually obligated albums, Van Morrison's is one of the most entertaining. I'd never heard it before now (even though it was recorded in 1967) but Van's grasp of such socially relevant issues as "Ring Worm" and "Man, I really want a Danish" rings as true today as it did back then. Enjoy!.

Put your fist in the air like I have mine

2005-09-14T15:11:00.000-05:00

Put your fist WAY in the air. Now...

Ozomatli rocks hard washboard abs. If you like crazy mixes of just about every culture on Earth all through a hip-hop lense that is, then yes, they rock.

It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times

2005-09-09T12:58:00.000-05:00

"May he live in interesting times."

As far as ancient Chinese curses go - and you know how they go - this one has always struck me as particularly insidious. Upon first reading, one might be tempted to think to oneself "Hey, I like interesting things... and time is a thing!" But oh, what complete imbeciles you would be. Interesting things have a tendency of becoming crazy things. Crazy things have a tendency of becoming painful things. And painful things tend to be painful. And all that learning BS that people say you gain from painful things: that's just something parents tell their captious kids to pretend that their own childhoods weren't the sordid inimical clusterfucks that made them the destitute shells of humans they are today. Good times.

Interestingly enough: the above curse, believed first quoted by Robert F. Kennedy in 1966, doesn't really exist. Chinese historians have tried in earnest to validate such a sweet quote, but the closest they could come was a proverb that read "It's better to be a dog in a peaceful time that be a man in a chaotic period." Which if you think about it - really think about it - speaks to the greater truth about the spiritual trifecta of God, Man, and Dog.

So, life rolls on before me as I chase after pretending to have fun. I really can't complain; I am a very lucky dog. I would however like to ask those in charge of such matters, the custodians of fate, that if they can find it in themselves to go bother someone else for a while, I'd greatly appreciate it. Thanks, and I love what you've done with the place.

Hypnosis... (<--ellipsis!)

2005-09-03T20:07:00.000-05:00

Lo, what the fear of imaginary mice can inspire!

So I've always dismissed hypnosis as at best para-psychology or at worst a cheap parlor trick. I've seen the light my friends - this shit is bananas - b.an.an.as.

Charlie and Melizard were kind enough to drag me to the fair so that I might see the "Hypnochick." Now, it's been years since I sold my double-wide during which time I worked very hard to get rid of my white-trash accent - so naturally, I was hesitant. Charlie and I both got picked to be on the stage, along with about 20 other people. I remember her starting to count down from 5... I remember 4... I remember 3... That’s about it. The next hour of my life is a mystery to me beyond some pics/vids that Lizard skillfully managed to capture for future blackmail. During 60 minutes, I apprently managed;

- to swan dive off the stage chasing a "greased pig"
- to spend upwards of 20 minutes FROZEN in fear of mice
- to be given the gift of hypnosis then promtly hitting a woman in the face trying to put her to sleep. After that, I put myself to sleep... in 'slo-mo'... very complicated
- be a Dixie Chick
- Loose my butt, which according to me subconscience "hurts." (My butt was replaced by Brad Pitts, so it all worked out in the end).

I can't tell you how strange a sensation it is to watch video of yourself acting like a complete jackass and have no goshdarn memory of it. Strangely, Charlie remembers everything. At the end of the show I left feeling better than I've felt in weeks, although I had managed to bruise and scrape every joint on my person. Good times.

So, now I'm a believer. Has anyone else ever been hypnotized? Do you believe in it?

I'll try to get some of the video up here if the gremlins and leprechauns that inhabit my computer can stop warring long enough to make some magic happen.

Pulp Fiction in 30 seconds with bunnies.

2005-07-19T14:22:00.000-05:00

Wooty Clicky.

30 Hornets Vs 30,000 Bees - no joke

2005-07-16T13:14:00.000-05:00

Compfused.com - 30 Hornets Vs 30,000 Bees

This is a real video. I've never felt sorry for bees before now. Down with our oppressive Hornet overlords!

Tend to your flock brothers

2005-07-11T14:44:00.000-05:00

450 Sheep Jump to Their Deaths in Turkey.

And still we don't regard depression for the killer it is.

The Truth about Truth

2005-06-24T12:00:00.000-05:00

“The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. But the opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.”

Niels Bohr

Mr. Bohr was a smart guy. Considered by some to be the father of Quantum Mechanics; his theories paved the way for an entirely new way of looking at the world and the way we interact with it (just like Jeff Foxworthy!). Interestingly, most of his postulates have held up over time and are still considered largely accurate. The statement above is one that sounds nifty (like something he might have dropped at party while chatting up some proper pigeon in-between sips of brandy and stolen glances at said pigeon’s cleavage) but I think its actually horseshit.

Indulge me for a moment. I like this quote for a number of reasons – the main being that it’s rather beguiling. My initial inclination was to ponder the validity of the second sentence – attempting to come up with situations where a profound anti-truth begets profound truths. There’s obviously a healthy conversation worthy of many glasses of Carlo Rossi to be had there – but I wish to limit the Dawson’s Creek-atude of this post.

I wonder how many people would read this quote and immediately accept the first sentence as truth? If you’re reading this, did you? I've lost the ability to see anything as that concrete - and it sucks. Here I am in Pleasantville, missing the black and white. The fluid nature of ‘truth’ is something that has been disturbing me a lot recently. I find myself wanting very badly to say that ‘this is true’ and ‘that is false’ but I am currently unable to replace the determiners. The course I’m traveling seems to be populated by fewer and fewer genuine truths, which is hard for we men of little cognitive ability to navigate. There was a time when I used to believe that all men are inherently good… now, I’m not so sure. There was a time when I used to believe that love conquers all… now, I can only hope so. All of my core beliefs seem to be giving way to more indefinite language. Is this just a part of getting older? Should I just expect to continue until I can’t read a fortune cookie without rolling my eyes in parade of cynical disgust worthy of living in Uptown?

Of course, most of what’s been on my mind lately are matters of love and the decisions made in its name - so it should be easy to see how perspective on truth could get muddied. I’m clinging to what I’ve got left. I love my family. I love my friends. The world is still a good place (hold on tight).

These are my truths. Yours?

Revenge of the (insert funny pun here)

2005-05-20T17:39:00.000-05:00

The force is strong with these dorks.

The movie is by no means perfect, but it did provide me with what I consider to be the greatest movie-going experience of my life, surpassing the first time I saw The Matrix in a packed (and vocal) Sony Loews. What surprised me the most is just how sad I was for the movie to be over. The closest thing to a modern mythology (aside from No Child Left Behind) is done: over. This is one of those rare movies that I would like to sit down and watch with every person in my life that I love. Please feel free to make fun of me via IM – I wear my nerd with pride, and my sandals with socks.

Someone call and remind me that people are still good

2005-05-13T04:25:00.000-05:00

Shitty night.

Nerdy on so many levels

2005-05-06T20:04:00.000-05:00

nintendo themes, a cappella (a choir performance of classic nintendo songs) - video

The only way this could be more nerdy is if they were all dressed as animals.

Or if Poker was there.

Charming Defined

2005-05-05T00:55:00.000-05:00

The new object of my perpetually vacillating singer/songwriter affection – Regina Spektor. Watching her sing is a little like watching water fall… you know its just physics but damn if it does look like magic. Don’t believe in magic? Watch her video.

We built this city... We build this city on crap

2005-05-03T21:11:00.000-05:00

CNN.com - Answer to zoo's power needs may be right under their nose - May 3, 2005

I have to admit, I've had this same dream for years.

Just when I start feeling good about myself.

2005-05-02T00:42:00.000-05:00

The World Mustache/Beard Championships have to happen and violently emasculate me.

Congress needs to quickly allocate more funding to the United States fledgling “Freestyle Mustache” program or we’re going find ourselves loosing the Mustache Race to the Luxemburg.. ians.

AMERICA, IS THIS THE FUTURE YOU WANT OUR CHILDREN TO GROW UP IN?!?

Baby, why talk when we can just blog?

2005-04-27T21:04:00.000-05:00

I think my friends are on slowly becoming 'Digital-Only-Friends©.' As things stand today, most of my peeps have blogs, and those that don’t simply aren’t worth discussing. There appears to be a growing trend of having quasi-meaningful conversations - the kind that should be had in person – over blog. From arguments via blog (Bloguments©), flirting (Flogging©) or converting to Islam (Blogsphemy©) – it appears that we no longer to actually need to be social in order to be friends. For people with special needs the burgeoning market of EAC devices (Electronically Assisted Communications) help those who are unable to talk see or hear. Well listen up Madison Avenue: there is a huge market of people who are either unable or unwilling to communicate emotionally in person and are simply ripe with for picking. Plus, those people will buy anything, as long as you put enough buttons on it and maybe a blue L.E.D.

Why stop there? According to Blog Law (120.21), sufficient creativity is expended in posting IM conversations, as opposed to actually offering any inductive thinking.

I would like to see how may digital strata I am able to put between myself and the core message before the honesty is lost?

[ORIGINAL MESSAGE]
“How was your day?”

[SPEL CHEKEED ON MS WERD]
[BEAMED INTO SPACE]
[TELEGRAPHED OVER THE ATLANTIC]
[PECKED INTO BLACKBERRY]
[SIPPED OVER COFFEEMAKER]
[LOL’D AT ON AIM]
[STOLEN FROM KAZAA]
[SYNCED WITH IPOD]
[+r@N$1@+3d iN+0 133+ $P3@/<]
[INTERCEPTED BY CARNIVORE]
[POSTED ON BLOG]

[RECEIVED MESSAGE]
“Fuck off and die”

Well, I guess I was wrong, apparently digital inference has no effect on the honesty of communication whatsoever! HAZZAH!

The Faceman Cometh

2005-04-01T16:45:00.000-06:00

Ive decided to wear a moustache from now on.

I know what you're thinking...

"But Drew, you're already so damn attractive why push it?"

Allow me to lay your fears to rest by promising to only use my moustache for the purposes of good - and the occasional armed coup d'etat. Of course, some of you lesser friends may be lost by the wayside; discarded like so many free AOL discs; as I am now going to exist on a far superior plane of coolitude. Once my chin-duster elevates me to demagogue, I simply wont have time for the likes of yall. So farwell, my unliphaired flunkies, you shall be moderately missed. Now beginith, the Vibrissa Epoch.

Racist or Just Lucky?

2005-03-30T15:04:00.000-06:00

I am racist.

Overtly? Hopefully not. Surreptitiously? Yes.

The difference between Racism and White Privilege is that the former is something I do to other people, the latter is all of the things given to me that I accept - or more accurately: things done for my benefit which I have not earned. This assiduous advantage is exceedingly difficult perceive in ones own life – it takes an accidental epiphany. Like the ship at the beginning of The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy; it’s only invisible because you haven’t noticed it yet.

Multiple facets of my life are all converging to illustrate my piss-poor comprehension of my innate advantage in said life. I have started a list of daily ways that I am an unwitting yet willing accomplice in White Privilege. I became aware of some by reading Peggy McIntosh’s article "White Privilege and Male Privilege: A Personal Account of Coming to See Correspondences Through Work in Women's Studies.".

1. If I should need to move, I can be pretty sure of renting or purchasing housing in an area that I can afford and in which I would want to live.

2. I can be pretty sure that my neighbors in such a location will be neutral or pleasant to me.

3. I can go shopping alone most of the time, pretty well assured that I will not be followed or harassed.

4. I can turn on the television or open to the front page of the paper and see people of my race widely represented.

5. When I am told about our national heritage or about "civilization", I am shown that people of my color made it what it is.

6. I can be sure that my children will be given curricular materials that testify to the existence of their race.

7. If I want to, I can be pretty sure of finding a publisher for this piece on white privilege.

8. I can go into a music shop and count on finding the music of my race represented, into a supermarket and find the staple foods that fit with my cultural traditions, into a hairdresser's shop and find someone who can deal with my hair.

9. Whether I use checks, credit cards, or cash, I can count on my skin color not to work against the appearance of financial reliability.

10. I can arrange to protect my children most of the time from people who might not like them.

11. I can swear, or dress in second-hand clothes or not answer letters without having people attribute these choices to the bad morals, the poverty, or the illiteracy of my race.

12. I can speak in public to a powerful male group without putting my race on trial.

13. I can do well in a challenging situation without being called a credit to my race.

14. I am never asked to speak for all the people of my racial group.

15. I can remain oblivious of the language and customs of persons of color, who constitute the worlds' majority, without feeling in my culture any penalty for such oblivion.

16. I can criticize our government and talk about how much I fear its policies and behavior without being seen as a cultural outsider.

17. I can be sure that if I ask to talk to "the person in charge" I will be facing a person of my race.

18. If a traffic cop pulls me over, or if the IRS audits my tax return, I can be sure I haven't been singled out because of my race.

19. I can easily buy posters, postcards, picture books, greeting cards, dolls, toys, and children's magazines featuring people of my race.

20. I can go home from most meetings or organizations I belong to feeling somewhat tied in rather than isolated, out of place, outnumbered, unheard, held at a distance, or feared.

21. I can take a job with an affirmative action employer without having coworkers on the job suspect that I got it because of race.

22. I can choose public accommodations without fearing that people of my race cannot get in or will be mistreated in the places I have chosen.

23. I can be sure that if I need legal or medical help my race will not work against me.

24. If my day, week, or year is going badly, I need not ask of each negative episode or situation whether it has racial overtones.

25. I can chose blemish cover or bandages in "flesh" color that more or less matches my skin.

As someone who wants to be a teacher of kids, it’s important that I become aware of just how omnipresent White Privilege is in our schools. As a coach of Speech, an activity that I love for the confidence it provides kids with, I might just be doing more harm than good. The part of white privilege that may be the most damaging is the advantage I have from acting, talking and thinking white. This is seen in White acceptance of ethnicity ONLY if it is contained within our precogitated character sketch of what that ethnicity can look/sound like. We either soundlessly ask minorities to act “whiter” (“less ethnic”) - or only allow honest ethnicity in forms of novelty and doc/mockumentary. I have told my minority Speech students that the reason that have not performed as well as they hoped is because they are “too big, too loud… some judges want to see things more controlled.” I only now realize that all I’ve been telling them is that “people won’t like you if you’re yourself, i.e. black – but they will like you if you act whiter.” I need to apologize for and correct this, but how to do so and still allow them to win. My blood boils for this.

Through the process of examining my own White Privilege, I have stumbled upon a stinging truth – I think of myself as morally neutral but actually fall well below that line. I’m not talking shades of grey here; definitively - I am not doing enough, or aware enough, to call myself morally neutral. It is not enough to be formally opposed to racial injustice. It is not enough to be a polite advocate of equality in the world. I must find a way to distribute the advantages I have been unjustly given to those who could never imagine getting things “easily.” I understand that a true meritocracy could probably never subsist in a world governed by humans (sea monkeys however…) but that doesn’t mean I can’t shape MY world in that direction. If there really is no such thing as rhadamanthine, then let me get as close as I can.

The Clarence Greenwood Recordings

2005-03-22T17:12:00.000-06:00

Go buy this album...

NO WAIT, DON'T!

CRAP! Now everyone’s gonna like it and I won't have any means by which to go about being cool. Damnit, why did I have to post this then be too lazy to delete said post!?

This album is frighteningly good, I can’t stop listening to it. It’s like the audible version of hot-pockets.

The apocalypse is nigh… to the X-treme!

2005-03-13T23:45:00.000-06:00

Intent on crapping upon the grave of the intellectual property that build the studio; Warner Brothers proudly presents the Looney Tunes for the 21^st century!

Bow down before your anthropomorphic overlords, The...

Yes, the Loonatics©: half homicidal – half adorable! Tailor-made for your generation - the new generation of overweight, under-enthused hipsters, who are either incapable or just straight-up bored with independent thought! Yeah, that’s right, I’m talking to you lamewad! Bugs Bunny was a frickin’ retard, and deserved his fate for wearing that dress too much. Now BUZZ Bunny will screw your girlfriend and steal your car all whilst you’re still checkin’ out his motorcycle and/or 2005 Mustang. This cri-zzazay cri-zitterz don’t take cri-zzap from cri-no body. Elmer Fudd? Shiat… more like Elmer F’ed-up! So “toon” in to watch your childhood, and the grand tradition of animation, get gang-banged by the Loonatics©!

Snoop, I am not

2005-03-07T18:50:00.000-06:00

Spring break returns to my life next week, after a hiatus of almost 10 years. The obligatory caveat of knowing that I won’t be in a Girl Gone Wild video notwithstanding: I’m excited.

However, I have no plans. I want to take a small road-trip, perhaps just a day away. Suggestions? Anyone have any good ideas for something cool (see: cheap) to do for spring break?

I ask you this...

How many people do you know who still look pretty when yawning? I think Haley might be the only one. Freak.

Old v. The State of New

2005-03-01T21:47:00.000-06:00

It's been a bad day, please don't take my picture.

Without going into the details; today is one of those days that either make me wish I never got out of bed - or - that my bed was actually constructed from a chorus of buxom nymphets bestowed with the humbling powers of the Happy Ending. Alas, my bed is from Ikea.

I have been giving quite a lot of thought to Old versus New lately. There are many people who would prefer the things in life that provide them with the comfort of familiarity(i.e. people, relationships, ideals). Certainly there is real value in knowing something/one so well that curiosity can be replaced by understanding. I am not one of those people. The moment I begin to understand something is the same moment I begin to lose interest. I have not yet been able to find the causality for this, and I doubt I ever will. Nonetheless, I keep looking.

In the interim: I want to change. I want to be able to stop shopping at the thrift store of life and start rummaging though my meta-dresser full of well-worn old favorites. I also want better metaphors, but that’s neither here nor there. I owe this to the people who care about me.

Time is a feller that I have always been half fascinated by, half resentful of. Perhaps one day Time and I will go out for lunch and, while it will be full of small-talk and awkward silences, maybe I can will get past my jealously.

SHE LIVES!

2005-02-24T15:38:00.000-06:00

It took me a week, but I was able to bring my little white friend back to life - with a piece of an old credit-card and a wadded-up boarding pass hidden in her case. Millie, as she's now called, is working better than she has in months. In other news, I have legally changed my name to MacGyver.

I have become so habituated to life with my iPod that the past week without it has been… lonely. Whatever: as if there were ever any question as to how screwed up I am.

No iPod and no Haley make Drew a dull boy.

Straight Outta Compton

2005-02-24T01:03:00.000-06:00

. . .or San Fran, whatever. Even though it rained all weekend in Berkeley a good time was had by all. The one category I hate coaching most (due to my total lack of confidence that I know what I doing with it) is Duo. Well, somehow the boys won it. Hopefully this bodes well for their shot at Nationals. I have to say that these kids are simply a joy to be around – so full of giddy nonsense and capable of digesting huge quantities of extremely loud hip-pop. Addiction comes in many forms.

Rice'a'roni - "Rice So Nice, We Needed 2 Apostrophes"

2005-02-19T02:35:00.000-06:00

I’m writing this from San Francisco, which is again securely at the top of my favorite cites list. This town so superbly eccentric that it feels more like a big amusement park than it does a thriving metropolis. Perhaps it has something to with how they appear to have built the city before the invention of the level. Or maybe it the sheer concentration of roller-bladers and spandex. Regardless, I love this city. The Berkeley tournament starts tomorrow and should be a good indication of how ready we are for the final stretch of the season. I’d like to be able to say that I feel confident… but I’d also like to be able say things in Japanese and the world’s just not that user friendly.

A question for ya that’s been in my noodle:

Generally, how many times does someone have to offer you something trivial
(coffee, pie, smack) before you will accept it?

Me = 3

Minnesota nice or lack of balls?

Dearly Beloved

2005-02-16T17:07:00.000-06:00

No words...

Ill miss you my iPod; my little friend who has left us for a better place. Cracker, as he was known by those closest to him, spent that last months of his life struggling for life. Yesterday, at approximately 8:35 p.m. his back-light finally became too dim to see.

But hope springs eternal. We have the technology: we can rebuild him.

One More

2005-02-15T20:58:00.000-06:00

...and The Show-Off Award goes to...

2005-02-15T15:14:00.000-06:00

Damn! This is impressive. This was made by one of the Advanced Carpentry students at school. I think his names was Jesus something. Incidentally, and in all sincerity, is there another word for "show-off?"

Class Structure

2005-02-15T14:41:00.000-06:00

Class was cancelled today. How do I know this you ask? I got a phone call – from my stalker. Fun. If she weren’t cute, I might be nervous. But, we all know that only ugly people are dangerous.

I realized something today that I should have long ago - I am officially ensconced in the lower class. Why I didn’t see this before, I don’t know, but there I am – living lower class. And the odds of moving up any time soon are… lets just say that Colin Goodson wouldn’t take that bet. Nonetheless, there is a special form of tranquility achieved in the state of “poor.” And by poor, I mean po. Money has never been something that had a great deal of significance to me, but having a quantifiably negligible amount of it gives one the liberty to care about other, more important things. Like socks… and….

Screw it: I hate being poo

***UPDATE***
Charlie made an interesting point - I don't mean to say that I do not appreciate that I come from a life of privilege, or that I have a certain safety-web available if things were to go really bad. I only present this as an acknowledgement that I am, by most socio-economic variables, panoptically lower class.

Oh well – I’m grateful that I am not homeless and at least I have my health.

- cough -

Crap.

iTunes + cellphones...

2005-02-14T18:33:00.000-06:00

My fascination with technology is becoming more of a chore, instead of it’s former 'life defining pilgrimage to Geek mecca' (see Geeka). Perhaps its time to be proactive…

As of today, this I decree: I will only resume getting excited by gadgets when the day comes that I am able to sync my iPod to my butt.

Is it the Onion, or real news?

2005-02-14T05:10:00.000-06:00

Its getting harder and harder to tell these days.

"RIYADH, Saudi Arabia (AP) -- The Saudi woman, swathed in black with only her eyes showing, circled a huge, red teddy bear, wondering if the plastic flowers stuck in the crook of its arm were too tacky."

House 'o' Balls

2005-02-13T22:01:00.000-06:00

If you haven't been there yet - get in your auto and drive there now.

*in the beginning

2005-02-13T01:23:00.000-06:00

Everyone hop on the Blog Train! Woo woo.

My hope is that this thing will spur me to write more, even if it’s in journal form. For as long as I can remember, I’ve dismissed journal or diary writing as trivial and unnecessary – but I’m starting to feel a burning sensation in my nether regions to talk about... ‘stuff.’ The little voice inside me (you know the one, with the nondescript eastern European accent) is telling me to start talking to myself. So here we go. Lets see how long I keep it up.